One year later

Pamela Lynn Costales - June18, 1960 to July 1, 2007 - RIP

The simple thing to say is that after a year that my heart is still broken. But, I can't.

The Corrs - Heart Like A Wheel


The worst time was the night after Pam died. That was when it felt that my heart had shattered and could never be mended. But, there were the kids and they kept me from feeling that all wasn't lost and that there would be more time. That there would be a time to heal. The year has gone too quickly.

One would have expected to have experienced at least one cathartic moment during the past year. But, that catharsis has not occurred. I believe that I am a victim of the current times. That I expect the quick and neat solutions that are common and much present in the literature, movies, and television of today. But, real life is too intricate for such trite conclusions.

Sarah McLachlan - In the Arms of an Angel



The Whole World is different not because of Pam’s death. The Whole World changed for me when Pam and I became a couple. That union, that event pre-dated any formal engagement or even the wedding ceremony. Both the engagement and wedding are but the public acknowledgement of the private and even sacred commitment that two loving people share when they love one another. That I love Pam there is no doubt. (And there is a part of me that will always yearn for her. As the song says "I don’t know much . . . but I Know I Love You ".)

This writing is not a remembrance of lost love. That love continues. This is a commitment to renewed Hope and a prayer for strength in the challenges that lay ahead. Pray for the kids and myself as we solider on and enter a new year.

Pam would be so proud of all her Children. (And I hope she would be proud of me as well. Pam was the better parent and in many things Pam did her jobs and duties as Mother far better then I am doing now as the Kids’ Father.)

The Summer Solstice and Summer

(Source for picture -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Field_Hamois_Belgium_Luc_Viatour.jpg )

A field in Summer.


Solstices occur twice a year, when the tilt of the Earth's axis is most oriented toward or away from the Sun, causing the Sun to reach its northernmost and southernmost extremes. The name is derived from the Latin sol (sun) and sistere (to stand still), because at the solstices, the Sun stands still in declination; that is, its apparent movement north or south comes to a standstill.

The term solstice can also be used in a wider sense, as the date (day) that such a passage happens.

( Source - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Summer_Solstice )

Summer begins on June 20th in 2008 in the Northern Hemisphere. The seasons are considered by some Western countries to start at the equinoxes and solstices, based on astronomical reckoning.

(Source - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Summer )

Have a Happy Summer!!!!!

Happy Father's Day

(Source for Happy Father's Day graphic -http://www.graphicsarcade.com/holidays/fathers_day/graphics/fathers_day_graphics_11.gif )
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Darth Vader's Father's Day

Remembering Mother's Day

Though she wasn't my Mother, my wife Pam was the Mother to our three children. And it is her Mother's Days that I remember more than those I may have celebrated with my own dear Mother.

The first Mother's Day gift Pam received was not from me. My father had sent Pam her first Mother's Day card. (Sean our oldest would only be my parent's second grandchild. And at the time we had no idea if Sean was to be born male or female.)




A month later, I received my first Father's Day gifts from Pam. A new toaster and a jar of marmalade. (I had mentioned that my favorite jam was orange marmalade. And I doubt we had a toaster at the time.)







And one Mother's Day Eve. Sean, Brianna, Ryan, and I sneaked out to Wal-mart to buy Pam a new coffee maker. Not the best of stories, but certainly the best of memories. And some memories never fade.

Happy Mother's Day

To all our Mothers.

No, not again!!!!!

February 2008 - Northern Illinois University

Daniel Parmenter - Catalina Garcia - Ryanne Mace - Julianna Gehant - Gayle Dubowski

Another year and yet another college campus shooting spree.

Northern Illinois University Shooting

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIj0OoA-4SQ&NR=1)

(See April 2007 -TODAY, WE ARE ALL HOKIES - comments on the Virgina Tech murders.)

Our Sorrow goes out to NIU. Comfort, Peace, and Courage. ;-( GC

A New Year and New Hope

To all our Family and Freinds,

I have been telling my oldest son, that we have finished the year. We may not be running at full speed, but we more than likely approach the end of the year limping and unbowed.
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Jerry and the Kids.


And Opal (woof)



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“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Theodore Roosevelt, 1910

PS Don't forget to Vote this year.

King of the Hill

A clip from one of our favorite TV cartoons.